Show Notes
Countdown: The 14 Greatest Hair Band Love Songs of All Time
Plus Anti-Valentine’s Day songs
A Hard, Heavy & Hairy Valentine’s: Counting down the 14 greatest mushy but Metal, soft but Hard, and all Hair love songs of all time. And, in between those 14 most romantic hair band heart songs are anti-Valentine’s Day songs to honor those boycotting the holiday.
Music-Only Edition
No talk, just the tunes. (Available to Front Row Heroes and above.)
Playlist
Own the hits and deep cuts you hear on Hard, Heavy & Hair! Click the iTunes/Apple Music or Amazon Digital Music icons to the left of each song.
FireHouse – Love of a Lifetime
Nelson – (Can’t Live Without Your) Love And Affection
White Lion – Wait
Joan Jett & The Blackhearts – I Hate Myself for Loving You
Skid Row – I Remember You
Great White – Save Your Love
Seether – FMLYHM
Guns N’ Roses – Used to Love Her
Bon Jovi – I’ll Be There for You
Guns N’ Roses – November Rain
Mötley Crüe – This Ain’t a Love Song
Aerosmith – I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing
Tesla – Love Song
Halestorm – I Miss The Misery
Hinder – All American Nightmare
BulletBoys – When Pigs Fly
My Darkest Days – Casual Sex (Rock Mix)
Metallica – Nothing Else Matters
Scorpions – Still Loving You
Bobaflex – Vampire
Steelheart – I’ll Never Let You Go (Angel Eyes)
Warrant – Blind Faith
Extreme – More Than Words
Stryper – Honestly
Beds by Audionautix.
Transcript of the Show
[INTRO]Tell me dear listener: Have you found your love of a lifetime, or are you still looking?
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Firehouse – Love Of A Lifetime
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Firehouse and “Love Of A Lifetime” there to set the mood for this very special episode of Hard, Heavy & Hair.
I’m Pariah Burke, your hard rockin’ Cupid of the airwaves, a Metalhead whose Metal heart is made of gold, and a romantic Hairball, through and through.
In honor of the International Day of Love, St. Valentine’s Day, this week’s Hard, Heavy & Hair Show we’re counting down the 14 greatest mushy but metal, soft but hard, and all hair love songs of all time. AND, in between those 14 greatest hair band heart songs will be songs to honor those who AREN’T celebrating love tonight, songs that are most definitely ANTI-Valentine’s Day songs.
Let’s kick off the countdown at number 14 with Gunner and Matthew Nelson, the flaxen-haired twins who still make the ladies swoon. Here’s “(Can’t Live Without Your) Love And Affection” by Nelson.
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14 Nelson – (Can’t Live Without Your) Love And Affection
[ID – Mike Tramp]
13 White Lion – Wait
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“Wait” from White Lion at number 13 on our countdown of the greatest hair band ballads and love songs of all time.
Let’s take a break from the mushy stuff to honor those not celebrating Valentine’s Day this week. Here’s Joan Jett & the Blackhearts showing off their namesake black hearts with “I Hate Myself for Loving You”.
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ANTI – Joan Jett – I Hate Myself for Loving You
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Joan Jett and the Blackhearts giving us a dose of anti-Valentine’s Day black heartedness to balance out the Hard, Heavy & Hair Countdown of the 14 most greatest hair band heart songs of all time. Number 12 is next.
[ ======================================== BREAK 1]Number 12 on our countdown of the greatest hair band ballads and love songs of all time comes with a video memory for those of us who remember. If you’re a fan of music videos, you can’t help but be moved by Sebastian Bach’s piercing eyes and heart-breaking vocals around the black and white story of a man missing the love he lost to death’s cold embrace. It’s the fear of every lover, of a partner torn away too soon, of being left behind.
“I Remember You” from Skid Row’s 1989 self-titled debut album.
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12 Skid Row – I Remember You
11 Great White – Save Your Love
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Great White with “Save Your Love.” When I was seventeen I was in love with a girl. She said “Save Your Love” reminded her of me, that she would put it on her Walkman, lie down in her bed, and close her eyes, and that the song would make her feel like I was beside her in the dark, holding her, enfolding her in my love. Years later, that girl and I have long since gone on to lives far apart, but Great White’s “Save Your Love” still takes me back.
This next song is also tethered to memories of an old girlfriend–an old fiancé, if you can believe it–but these memories aren’t as pleasant. And we can both still be prosecuted–in multiple countries–for some of the things we did to each other toward the end, so that’s all I’m going to say about that and her on a worldwide broadcast.
From 2007’s Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces album, this is Seether with “F-M-L-Y-H-M”.
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ANTI – Seether – FMLYHM
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Seether “F-M-L-Y-H-M”, a song that reminds me about someone I used to love. This next song crossed my mind a time or two back then, as well. We’ll get back to the real love songs right after this anti-Valentine’s song from the G N R Lies, LP, “Used to Love Her.”
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ANTI – Guns N’ Roses – Used to Love Her
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That’s one way to solve problems in your relationship, but not one I’d recommend.
We’re breaking the Top 10 of the greatest hair band love songs next.
[ ======================================== BREAK 2]Whether you’re encoupled or uncoupled, in love with your bae or contemplating murdering your ex, THIS is the show you need to be listening to. If you’ve got someone, grab them to cuddle up with and listen to this very special A Hard, Heavy & Hairy Valentine’s Day. If you don’t have someone, pull out your phone and swipe right RIGHT NOW to find someone to bang to the beat of the hard and heavy anti-Valentine’s tracks. If you just can’t get anyone else to listen with you, well, break out the battery-operated boyfriend or Fleshlight, because you’re going to LOVE this show, even if you can’t stand the thought of love right now.
Some of the most romantic songs of all time are those about love and support even after pain. At number 10 on the countdown is Bon Jovi’s fourth and final number 1 single, a song often sung live by co-writer Richie Sambora instead of by Jon. This is “I’ll Be There For You”, as sung by Jon Bon Jovi.
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10 Bon Jovi – I’ll Be There For You
09 Guns N’ Roses – November Rain
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Number 9, “November Rain” by Guns N’ Roses. The same band that sang “I used to love her / but I had to kill her” gave us that sweeping, Gone With the Wind-style love song. At 5 minutes fifty-eight seconds, that was the short version, the radio edit without the three additional minutes you’ll find in the album version on Use Your Illusion 1.
There are more beautiful love songs coming up to help warm your heart this Valentine’s Day. But let’s take moment with Motley Crue to warm a different body part, ’cause “This Ain’t a Love Song.”
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ANTI – Mötley Crüe – This Ain’t a Love Song
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“This Ain’t a Love Song,” a deep cut from Motley Crue’s Saints of Los Angeles LP. Did you sing along?
[ ======================================== BREAK 3]Number 8 on the countdown of the most romantic and loving hair band songs of all time is one that some people associate with a father-daughter love because of its use in the Bruce Willis, Liv Tyler disaster movie, Armageddon. To paraphrase 19th Century author Margaret Wolfe Hungerford, meaning is in the ear of the listener. If you want to hear a father’s love for his daughter in this next song, then that’s just fine–good Dads give their little girls roses on Valentine’s Day, too. But if you listen closely to the lyrics, the lyrics could be even more readily applied to romantic love.
This is Aerosmith with the eighth most romantic hair band song of all time, “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.”
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08 Aerosmith – I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing
07 Tesla – Love Song
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In a 2015 interview with SongFacts, Tesla vocalist Jeff Kieth said “Tesla’s always about the love” and “will forever play ‘Love Song’ every time we play. Love is how we all got here. Love’s what makes the world go ’round. Love stands above everything, even the hate.”
Tesla’s “Love Song” is number 7, halfway through the Hard, Heavy & Hair countdown of the 14 greatest hair band love songs of all time. I’m Pariah Burke, your host and guide through the romance and ANTI-romance of this very special A Hard, Heavy & Hairy Valentine’s Day.
Before we get to number 6 on the countdown, let’s step back from the romance to serve those listeners boycotting Valentine’s Day this year. This is Halestorm.
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ANTI – Halestorm – I Miss The Misery
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In some circles, that counts as romance. “I Miss the Misery” from Halestorm’s 2012 The Strange Case Of LP.
Still coming up is Extreme, Warrant, Metallica, the Scorpions, another Motley Crue, and more.
[ ======================================== BREAK 4] [ ————— BREAK FILL for NET → ]Even if you ARE in love and celebrating Valentine’s Day, I’m sure you can appreciate this trio of songs too hard to be mushy. We’ll start with Hinder, “All American Nightmare.”
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Hinder – All American Nightmare
BulletBoys – When Pigs Fly
My Darkest Days – Casual Sex (Rock Mix)
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“Casual Sex” from My Darkest Days following a BulletBoys song perfect for dedicating to your ex–“When Pigs Fly”. In fact, if you want to dedicate that song to your ex, you can. Just point your ex to PariahRocks.com where this show is available for on-demand streaming starting the night before Valentine’s Day. Tell your ex to fast foward to the 1-hour-15 minute mark, that you’re dedicating the next song that starts them.
It’s almost as good as sending a chocolate cock in a box that says “Eat a Dick,” which is absolutely something you CAN do, and at any time of the year, not just Valentine’s Day.
[← —————- BREAK FILL for NET]James Hetfield said, even as he was writing song number 6 on the Hard, Heavy & Hair countdown of the most romantic hair band love songs of all time, that he thought it was the “least Metallica” Metallica song and “the last song fans would want to hear” from Metallica. While on tour, on the phone with his girlfriend, missing her and home, Hetfield scribbled out the first notes of this next track. He was reluctant to bring it to his band mates, but they coaxed it out of him. From there, “Nothing Else Matters” quickly evolved into a song that would come to mean many things to many people, a song about missing home, whether home is a place or a person.
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06 Metallica – Nothing Else Matters
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We’re still working our way toward number 1, toward the most romantic hair band song of all time. Think you know what it is? Stick with me as I lead your heart through the final five.
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05 Scorpions – Still Loving You
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“Still Loving You” by the Scorpions, number 5 on the countdown of the most romantic hair band songs of all time. Only four more to go!
But before we get to them, Bobaflex is going to lull us with a little lullaby about a woman the band lovingly, tenderly, romantically describes as a blood-sucking, leave-nothin’ vampire. Seriously. This song will give you the warm and fuzzies down in your ooey gooey bits. This is “Vampire” from Bobaflex.
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ANTI – Bobaflex – Vampire
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We’re down to the final four, the four most romantic hair band songs of all time on this, a special presentation of the Hard, Heavy & Hair with Pariah Burke Show, A Hard, Heavy & Hairy Valentine’s. If you’re with your significant other right now, hold that person close, and whisper that they have angel eyes, and you’ll never let them go.
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04 Steelheart – I’ll Never Let You Go (Angel Eyes)
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“I’ll Never Let You Go (Angel Eyes)” by Steelheart is number 4 on the countdown. Find out the top three most romantic hair band songs of all times next.
[ ======================================== BREAK 5]Whether you celebrate Valentine’s Day or think it’s merely a made-up holiday built by florists and jewelers to part you from your hard earned cash, the Hard, Heavy & Hair Show has you covered this week. I’m Pariah Burke, your tour guide through love and lust, romance and hatred.
In honor of the International Day of Love, St. Valentine’s Day, this week’s Hard, Heavy & Hair Show we’re counting down the 14 greatest mushy but metal, soft but hard, and all hair love songs of all time. AND, in between those 14 greatest hair band heart songs will be songs to honor those who AREN’T celebrating love tonight, songs that are most definitely ANTI-Valentine’s Day songs.
And we’re now at number three on the countdown with Warrant.
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03 Warrant – Blind Faith
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“Blind Faith” from Warrant is my pick for the third most romantic hair band ballad of all time.
Three particular words, when put together in the right order, when said the right way, by the right person, can make even the most hardened heart melt. But for some, the words “I love you” come too easily, without the gravitas they should have. They can be said without the true feeling of love behind them, so sometimes, to know you’re truly loved, you need more than words.
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02 Extreme – More Than Words
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That was “More Than Words” by Extreme, the second most Valentine’s-like Valentine’s Day song by a hair band.
Of all the hair band songs that were ever recorded and released, which is THE most romantic of all time? Which hair band song has been played at more weddings than any other? It’s a song that, like I mentioned earlier, holds different meanings to different people.
Although it wasn’t written to be about romantic love between a man and a woman, or two women or two men, or two non-binary beings, its core message is one of love that can exist between any two people, but which has resonated most with those in love with each other. Hearts all over the world have joined in matrimony during the playing of this song, or had their first dance as newlyweds to this next song. Even today, more than 30 years after Styper released the song, it’s one of the most requested songs for weddings and receptions, one of the most often dedicated by one lover to another on radios and jukeboxes around Valentine’s Day, and, because of all the love the song engenders and inspires, it’s my pick for THE greatest hair band love song of all time.
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01 Stryper – Honestly
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Stryper’s “Honestly” is the number 1, all time greatest love song by a hair band.
There you have it, lords and ladies, lovers or haters: the 14 most romantic hair band songs of all time, AND, for those spending Valentine’s alone or boycotting the holiday entirely, there were plenty of Anti-Valentine’s songs to entertain you, as well.
If you want to listen to A Hard, Heavy & Hairy Valentine’s special again, cuddling up with your significant other and staring lovingly into each other’s eyes, with someone you’re just casually banging to the driving beat of the anti-Valentine’s songs, or all by yourself with your Fleshlight or B-O-B, then listen to the show again ON Valentine’s Day, February 14th, and EVERY day and EVERY evening thereafter, streaming from PariahRocks.com, that’s P-A-R-I-A-H-R-O-C-K-S-dot com. You’ll also find it on-demand on the MixCloud mobile app.
I’ll see you next week right here on this station for another all new, regular Hard, Heavy & Hair Show filled with Hard Rock, Metal, and Hair hits and deep cuts from the 70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s, 20-teens, and today.
I’m Pariah Burke, your hard rockin’ Cupid of the airwaves, a Metalhead whose Metal heart is made of gold, and a romantic Hairball, through and through. Thank you for joining me on a Hard, Heavy & Hairy Valentine’s Day.
